Uncategorized

A jayne less sweet

Yeah, I failed my three hour glucose test, fair and square. I've never gone through the five stages of grief and loss so clearly and poignantly.

Denial

That first week, I checked my blood sugar relentlessly and every time it was reasonable, I got this smug little sense of satisfaction. Ha! I demanded a repeat of the first test. Well, we know how that turned out.

Anger

First of all, don't get me started about the fact that I didn't get any Halloween candy, because I will break something. But let me tell you, after I couldn't pretend anymore that my blood sugar isn't high, I was diligent about doing internet research to support my position that even if I DO have gestational diabetes, well, it's actually better for the baby NOT to treat it, and I announced my findings to Jeff, loudly and insistently. I built a very good case. I learned something else, too. You can find tons of internet research that will support whatever crazy ass idea pops into your head. For instance, I didn't know this, but apparently sucralose and aspartame can KILL your baby. So can flax, Dramamine, getting pedicures, using a laptop every day, using anti-biotics to treat your urinary tract infection, not using anti-biotics to treat your urinary tract infection, being pessimistic, working as a nurse, and drinking green tea. I don't have time to link you to all this stuff, as I'm too busy either working as a nurse or sitting on my couch with my laptop drinking sucralose-sweetened green tea while feeling deeply pessimistic. And getting pedicures.

Bargaining

Me: (sobbing) Jeff, do you think I could just have one Pepsi, like on Fridays or something, as a reward for getting through the week?
Jeff: (quietly) Well, Honey, that's up to you…
Me: You wouldn't let me have ONE PEPSI???!!! (see Anger, above)

Depression

Leann (a particularly young, cheerful, energetic nurse's aide): Hey, Jayne, there's pizza and Pepsi in the break room!
Me: How nice.
Leann: By the way, I think your patient pulled out his IV so he could go down to the patio and smoke.
Me: So?
Leann: Didn't he just have a heart attack?
Me: It doesn't matter. Practically nothing matters.

Acceptance

I am getting there. I do not eat the chocolates at the nurse's station. I do not order sodas. Everyone at work knows not to offer me a slice of cake. I walk fast through the produce section. Sometimes I visit the pixie stix on the candy aisle, just to let them know I still care.

So far my blood sugars are running ok. No further complication that we know about, but we will see what happens in the next few weeks.

2 thoughts on “A jayne less sweet”

  1. YOU, dear daughter-in-law, are terrific. Sorry you are going through all this, but we are also so proud of you for all of your will-power (even if you do have anger, loss and grieving). We’re glad you are visiting the pixie stixs at times, they would be deeply saddened to think you had totally abandoned them :)Keep up the good fight. Love, Dad and Mom

    Like

  2. Hang in there, girl! You can always replace that sugar habit with buying slings and such, hee hee! you can even visit peppermint.com for a different take on sweet (best sling place on the web).This too shall pass.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s